at times like this, i feel like things aren't going the way i want them to. it's almost as if i'm too focused on how other people perceive me, and trying to make everyone else happy, when my own life is just going by without me noticing.
i'm too busy looking at everyone else's life, and seeing how much they're getting out of it; all the things they enjoy, and all the things they learn. but when i stop and look at my own life, there's nothing there; nothing to see.
i'm almost turning 20. and it feels like, the last 20 years of my life have been wasted, because i haven't been paying enough attention to myself.
for my 20th birthday, i hope i can learn to let go of my insecurities of how other people perceive me, and live my life the way i want to. i need to learn to do things for myself, things that i enjoy, without caring about what anyone else thinks. i may not be truly content of what i've achieved in my 20 years, but hey, it's still the beginning, and i've still got the rest of my life ahead of me. it's never too late to change.
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